I was doubting myself as a women, asking myself why I can’t hold a pregnancy and if I’d ever be able to give my husband the family we so badly wanted.
Hi My name is Nikita and I’m 1 in 4. I experienced my first miscarriage at age 22, my partner (now husband) and I had no idea what a miscarriage was and that something so horrible was even possible, since we were still young we were told it would be ok and we could just try again. It took another 2 years to fall pregnant again but just like the first time it was to end in loss.
To our surprise within a month of our second miscarriage we fell pregnant for a third time, the excitement was real!! And I thought it was a sign that I was supposed to be a mum and I was going to carry this baby to full term, because what are the odds right!? Wrong. We were now 3 miscarriages down and I was doubting myself as a women, asking myself why I can’t hold a pregnancy and if I’d ever be able to give my husband the family we so badly wanted.
After multiple doctors appointments and specialist appointments (To which I waited over 1 year on a public health care wait list just to see a Gynaecologist who told me “there’s nothing to worry about your still so young, just keep trying!” I was diagnosed with PCOS and mild endometriosis. After all of the loss we had encounted we decided to take a break from trying so we could heal from our 3 losses and get our mental health right.
It took 5 years from the first miscarriage but we now have our beautiful rainbow baby! His name is Micah and he is 4 months old, and I’m sooooo in love!
I know the pain recurrent miscarriage causes and I know the feeling of wanting something so badly and wondering why you can’t have it. When I went through my miscarriages I was not informed of anything that was going, of what had happened in my body, why it may have happened nor was I provided any support resources, I was completely in the dark alone. I am so happy that Pink Elephant exists and provides support for women experiencing pregnancy loss. I wish I had of known about them when I was going through my fertility journey. I cannot think of anything better than supporting and encouraging those who are going through the same thing as I once did. I know it’s not easy but I believe in you! You got this!
- Nikita