I choose empathy & understanding over criticism of a grieving mother sharing about her baby. Have you considered it’s her way of showing all the love she has for a child that she will never meet? That it’s her way of acknowledging they existed? That it’s her way of working through the grief?
I will always wonder what if....
Maybe you could share with our community a message of support & hope? That this too shall pass & one day it might not hurt every time we see others who have bumps we long for or newborns snuggly in their arms. Perhaps instead of telling us how to grieve, you could offer us compassion. Women are consistently told how to react to situations in life and the truth is grief is messy, it isn’t linear there is no right or wrong way to react to the loss of a baby. We should be able to choose what is right for us.
No matter the gestation of our babies they each matter to us, they each deserve to be acknowledged as having existed and our losses validated as bereavement.
Could you offer us more than criticism? We are suffering so much already. Criticism only serves to minimize our losses and continue the cycle of shame & stigma. It’s time for a change, it’s time to RIGHT the story of pregnancy loss, to do this, when we are ready, our truths must be shared, our stories should be told to be forever noted in the archives of history to change the future.
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