I write this story on my way to Melbourne for a specialist appointment, reflecting on the tough journey so far but hopeful for some answers. To date I have had 3 missed miscarriages and 3 D&C’s. It’s hard to tell which time was the hardest, the 1st or the 3rd.
I am 28 years old, have been married 2 and a half years now and although only trying for 2 years, it feels like 10 years! As people that know my story say…. you’re lucky to be able to fall pregnant so easily, but it doesn’t feel lucky.
3 scans later and the fetus measured:-
1. 5 weeks (7 week mark)
2. 5 weeks (8 week mark)
3. 7 weeks (9 week mark)
My local specialist said that the 5 week miscarriages were on the border line of not counting and no support was offered, so I am now on my way to Melbourne for a second opinion.
The whole process is a wave of emotions that I believe have scarred me. Trying to fit in sport, work and social life around such a huge change in your life is difficult.
Specialists will only start testing you once you have 3 miscarriages in a row, although I believe in my case and other health professionals have told me I have shown a pattern that should be looked into. It took me telling the specialist that I will not be trying my luck again for them to take action.
You find out you’re pregnant around 3-4 weeks, stop eating foods you’re not allowed, don’t drink and attempt to hide this from all your loved ones. You go to the GP who explains all the things you need to do: thinking of where you would like to birth, whether you have a specialist in mind, talking about all the tests that will be available to you.
The wait continues for another 4-5 weeks until your dating scan. You have your husband there and and are both so excited! You get the scan and see everything happening BUT know nothing about scanning and heart beats etc so when the lady tells you there is no heartbeat, the shock sets in. You get out of there as fast as you can, not wanting anyone to see you cry.
You try to go to work but you have to leave, anyone you tell what has happened to you think that their stories will help but they don’t because the information is still so raw. You feel like a sook by being at home crying, but at the same time you can’t ‘tough it out’.
You have a follow up appointment with specialist who says there is every chance your next pregnancy will be normal, so you go through the surgery, wait a few periods and try again, then the cycle starts again.
I am lucky to be seeing an acupuncturist who has helped me greatly to talk through the processes and give me goals to aim for, as well as the herbs and treatments make me feel a little more in control of things. Being told by medical professionals to just ‘try your luck again’ isn’t ok with me!
Anyway, this is my story and all my love goes to anyone experiencing something similar. Please remember it doesn’t matter if it’s your first or tenth, they all count and the way you feel matters!
By, Kali.
