Dialog Box

The Pink Elephants Support Network

Miscarriage & Infertility

Miscarriage & Infertility

We got to the scan and I knew nothing was going to show

Where do I start? I was looking for a way to express how I felt without anyone feeling sorry for me or wanting to help in some way when no one can really help. I knew I was going to have fertility issues as I was diagnosed with PCOS at a younger age. Knowing this my husband and I sought fertility treatment at QFG and with one round and one single embryo we fell pregnant and had a beautiful baby girl. We were so lucky and fortunate. Waiting to have my eggs collected I saw so many hopeful women in the waiting room. I didn't realise how many were going through something similar. 

A few years later we wanted to add to our family. My daughter often asked why she didnt have any brothers or sisters and she wished she had a sister. We went through another round of IVF. Egg collection and were able to freeze 3 embryos. The first 2 cycles werent viable so we were left with the lucky last one. Already pumped full of hormones, it was draining and exciting and daunting all in one. The transfer happened and we waited the 2 weeks for the blood test and we got the positive. We were pregnant. That same day I ended up in hospital with strep throat which I didn't know could cause extreme nausea and vomiting. I thought it was the pregnancy. 

That passed and then I started bleeding. First it was spotting which I read was normal. I didn't have that with my daughter so naturally I freaked out. 2 weeks went by and the bleeding got worse. 2 days before our first scan (6 weeks) something large passed when I went to the bathroom and I knew what it was.... I just couldnt think about it. We got to the scan and I knew nothing was going to show.... and the Dr was nice but my uterus was 90% empty.... Even though I knew I didnt want to know. At least not until I left the building. I had to do blood tests after to make sure everything had gone. I just felt empty especially knowing I never got to see it or hear the heart beat. Everyone has been really supportive and I would really love to be able to give back and help someone else. I'm not usually one to share this much but it so nice to let it all out and feel like I'm being heard and not judged or pitied.

- Kylie